Dubai: Cheerios in the Desert
Expect the Unexpected
Mr. Jolie and I had a breakfast meeting arranged at the Al Maha Resort in the Arabian Desert near Dubai. Although I had never met Jolie, we had a mutual friend in the US. So when the front desk of my hotel gave me Jolie’s message inviting me to breakfast the following morning, I readily accepted. Sure, why not? I’ve never eaten my Cheerios in the desert before.
Jolie’s driver, Mr. Sandplow, pulled up in front of my hotel at 4:45 a.m. in a swanky, shiny white Land Rover to transport me to the starting point of our rendezvous. Mr. Sandplow expertly raced the Land Rover through the maze of Dubai’s freeways, and within minutes, we were on the highway heading toward the desert.
About twenty minutes into the trip, Sandplow reviewed the itinerary with me. We were going to the Dubai Desert Conservation Reserve. He would drive me to the stables, where I would be met by Mr. Jolie’s personal assistant. Apparently, Jolie heard I was an adventurous woman, so he arranged for me to ride in a CAMEL CARAVAN for the last leg of the journey to our breakfast meeting.
Not to worry, everything was compliments of Mr. Jolie.
Oh, Mr. Jolie decided ALL THAT for me, did he??
I’m just going to hop on Joe Camel’s hump and jockey through the sand dunes to eat morning Cheerios with Mr. Jolie?
Better yet, NO WORRIES because Jolie is footing the tab for this desert stunt.
Let me tell you… Jolie needs to check the contents of his hookah pipe!
Mr. Sandplow turned off the highway and went through a gate that barricaded a primitive sand road.
About a mile down the road, he stopped the vehicle to point out a small herd of Arabian Oryx. Known as Al Maha in Arabian, the Arabian Oryx is the National Animal of the United Arab Emirates (UAE).
In the 1960s, the Arabian Peninsula realized a substantial decrease in the Oryx population due to natural disasters, exposure to poisonous insecticides, and man’s irresponsible hunting of the animals for their meat, coats, and trophy horns.
By 1972, the UAE’s National Animal became EXTINCT in the Arabian Peninsula.
The species was only prevented from experiencing TOTAL EXTINCTION by the Arabian Oryx populations that were living in captivity in various other locations around the world.
In the 1980s, a number of organizations that had captive Arabian Oryx populations combined efforts to help reintroduce the Oryx back into its wild Arabian Peninsula habitat.
There are now an estimated 1,220 Arabian Oryx living in the wild and another 6,000-7000 living in captivity in various locations around the world.
Despite almost being totally obliterated, the Arabian Oryx is one tough cookie. It can survive for extended periods of time in the arid desert heat without water. As an herbivore, it eats roots, tubers, and grass and often has to dig several feet beneath the sand to find food. As if blazing heat, water shortage, and chowing on sandy veggies, are not challenging enough, the ambitious Oryx covers up to 50 miles a day foraging for food and water.
Remarkably, the female has a mega-super-sniffer that can detect the smell of rain up to 50 miles away. Yes, you read that right! She can smell rain from 50 miles away!
Here's the scenario: Mr. & Ms. Arabian Oryx and the kids are happily kicking up sand, digging for hunks of roots, underground baked potatoes, and treasures of gritty desert salad greens. Ms. O’s nostrils twitch. She stops digging in the giant sandbox and points her schnoz in the air.
Whiff! Whiff! Super Snooter Alert! Super Snooter Alert!
Hmmm… Yup, there’s rain about 50 miles to the east. We haven’t had a sip of water in a week or two, so we should probably mosey on over there.
She talks to Hubby-O, and he agrees - of course. Wise move on his part. No use arguing with his gal’s Super Snooter Alert! Head ‘em up! Move ‘em out!
“Hey kids, line up, time to go for a walk. Don’t give me any sass. Yes, you have to go. No, you can’t stay here by yourself, you’re too young. Come along now, we’re only going about 50 miles this evening.”
Okay, let’s sing our walking song…
♫ Oh give me a home,
♫ Where the Bedouins roam, and the Oryx frolic and play.
♫ Where seldom is heard
♫ A discouraging word,
♫ And the skies are not cloudy all day♫.
♫ Home, home on the dunes, where the Oryx and Monitors play,
♫ Where seldom is heard
♫ A discouraging word,
♫ And the skies are not cloudy all day♫.
The Arabian Oryx has also been associated with the fabled unicorn. Its horns, which are either straight or only slightly curved, grow between two and five feet in length. When viewed from a certain side angle, the horns line up and take on the illusion of being a single horn.
One thing is for certain - those horns are strong and sharp. The Oryx is a formidable opponent, and it gets its point across!
Jolie’s driver and I got back in the Land Rover and continued to plow along the sand tracks. The desert appeared lifeless, an infinite expanse of sand waves, occasionally marked by clay-colored dunes of varied sizes. A couple of miles later, Mr. Sandplow stopped again. Rolling the window down, he pointed to a large, prehistoric-looking brown lizard basking in the sunshine on top of a dune. He told me it was a Desert Monitor Lizard.
The Desert Monitor Lizard is no gecko. Jurassic Park escapee? Possibly. The Monitor ranges in size from 3.0 to 6.5 feet in length and it can weigh over six pounds. This hefty lizard is fleet of foot, with the ability to clip around the desert sands at 5 mph. I guess if you get your kicks and giggles out of being chased by a carnivorous lizard with a venomous bite, challenging a Monitor on its home turf might be right up your alley.
Heck, if you are THAT adventurous, I bet Mr. Jolie might even take it upon himself to arrange for YOU to ride a camel in a caravan too!
As for me, I prefer to view my Mesozoic-era descendants from a distance. A safe distance.
In case I haven’t convinced you not to mess with one of these critters, the Desert Monitor Lizard can climb trees, burrow deep in the ground, swim like a pro, and has the agility of a champion gymnast. Watch out! When it feels threatened, it might just use the old switcheroo back-door strategy and whip the stuffing out of you with its spiny tail!
“Our” monitor got spooked by us, skittled quickly across the sand, and disappeared into the ground. At the same time, I noticed another monitor pop out of the ground and soon it stood sentinel on top of the sand. As my eye became more accustomed to the terrain, I noticed a number of desert monitor lizards, either crawling out of the sand or burrowing back into it. It was like watching a real-life production of the children’s game Whack-a-Mole. The most amusing part was tracking the big lizards scampering back and forth across the sand. Zipping here, scooting there, excavating under here, poking up there. They were one busy lot. Doing what, I have no idea, but it sure kept them occupied.
On closer examination, I realized the desert was anything but a lifeless expanse of sand waves and dunes. On the contrary, it was a vibrant ecosystem teeming with birds, animals, plants, reptiles, and insects. It was all there, I just had to train my eye.
Minutes later, Sandplow pulled up in front of the stable, where Mr. Jolie's personal assistant, Trusty Tariq, greeted me and took me to the camel area. He explained this stable housed around a dozen Bactrian camels (two-humped camels). It is one of several stables in the conservation area and the camels are given a rest from working the caravans on regular rotations. I noticed some of the camels lay kneeling on the ground with their knees tucked under them while others stood, seeming to observe all the action taking place around them.
One look at those camel faces was all it took, and I was sold! Was that a look of anticipation? Were they inquisitive? Was it plain old-fashioned goofiness? Or were they adorably cute?
Ok Jolie, you got me on this one. I’m in on the caravan. But you’ll have to be told… I’m the boss of me, NOT you.
I admit that camels are not something I’ve ever spent much time thinking about. Have you?
Ya sure, don’t we all just twiddle our thumbs daydreaming about camels? Wondering what makes camels tick? Contemplating why some camels have one hump and others have two? Haven’t we all driven ourselves to the brink of insanity trying to figure out exactly how long a camel can last without water? Who hasn’t spent many a sleepless night wondering which runs faster – a horse or a camel? Certainly, we’ve all pondered which is more intelligent - a horse or a camel; or which animal is more emotionally connected. After all, this is very important information for anyone who truly wants to baffle others with bull-schlop.
I’ll make it easy and give you the scoop on camels so you can rest easy as a camel-informed person.
I don’t know what makes camels tick. What kind of a crazy question is that and how does anyone answer it? Even a camel can’t answer that one. Next question…
Bactrian camels have two humps. They make up 6% of the camel population in the world and there are about 17,000 of them in captivity. With only 1,000 two-humped camels remaining in the wild, they are classified as a “critically endangered species.” The Dromedaries have one hump, and there are around 15 million worldwide. Contrary to popular belief, whether it is a Bactrian or a Dromedary, the camel’s hump is filled with fat, not water.
Camels can go a week to ten days without water. When they have access to water, they can consume 30 to 45 gallons in minutes. That’s a LOT of water.
Camels run faster than horses on sandy terrain. Horses run faster than camels on well-packed terrain. End of story.
Camels are more intelligent than horses. Due to their extraordinary intelligence, camels can be overly sensitive to their surroundings and get upset easily. Both horses and camels have exceptional, near-perfect memories. Generally friendly and gentle animals, mistreated camels have been known to hold grudges and even seek revenge. Beware, these power animals can weigh up to 1,100 pounds, and they can kick in all four directions. Note to self: Do not get in the bad books of a camel!
Horses tend to be more emotionally stable and forgiving than camels. Note to self: Be nice to horses too! They are nice animals.
Did I know all this info about camels before I loaded my bones onto the back of one? Of course not. I was only given a few straightforward instructions about how to get my ride to turn right, turn left, stop, and go. Following directions, I climbed on the back of my kneeling camel and took the reins. I was told to just let my beast of burden follow the caravan.
Like riding a horse, right? Wrong! Not at all alike.
Yikes! Up, up, up went the camel’s hind legs until MY rear end towered sky-high above MY head and I came so close to planting my face in the dirt I could taste the grit scouring my teeth. Failing to deposit me on my head, the camel unfolded his front legs and pushed them up underneath his chest. Up, up, up went the front end, and back down, down, down went MY rear end.
We were standing up. Together. The camel - with me on its back.
Good grief! No one told me I’d doing a bronc-bustin’ stint with this fiasco!
I was beginning to have not-so-nice thoughts about giving Mr. Jolie a piece of my mind - when and if I ever met him!
The caravan started moving.
Here’s a curve ball. Camels walk with a weird gait. They “pace”. Meaning, their front and back legs on the SAME SIDE move in tandem in a two-beat gait. The majority of four-legged animals walk in a four-beat gait.
That ground is a llllooonnnggg way down there! Don’t look. Eyes straight ahead. Okay camel, I trust you. You know what you’re doing. Help me out here, will ya? Take it easy there, buddy. Try not to sway too much.
After a while I got the swing of it – literally. Provided I rocked when he rocked and swayed when he swayed, we got along famously. All was well until the caravan traversed a sand dune, and that threw me completely off kilter. The best I could do was hang on tight, as the camel plodded down the dune.
The camel zigged and I zagged. He zagged and I skidded. He zigged and I slammed into the saddle. He zagged and I slipped to the side. He zigged and I went flying forward. He zagged and I scooted back. He zigged I slumped to the other side.
I needed to get my rhythm back, but I couldn’t find it and the camel just kept on keeping on.
What’s that ahead? We’ve arrived? Al Maha Desert Resort?
Look camel, I like you, and it’s been fun, but I’m ready for this joy ride to come to an end.
And this better be one memorable breakfast for Mr. Jolie to put me through these paces… pardon the pun, camel.
The caravan came to a stop on the perimeter of the breakfast area. Jolie’s right-hand man, Trusty Tariq, was there Johnny-on-the-spot to help me get safely off my camel. The camel knelt down, simply reversing the procedure from when he stood up.
Beep beep! Beep, beep, beep! Camel backing up!
Looking around, I didn’t see anyone who hadn’t been with us for the past hour. Jolie had better not ghost me after putting me through this whole desert rodeo charade!
I asked Trusty, “Is Mr. Jolie here? I don’t see him.”
His brows furrowed across the bridge of his nose, and he craned his head forward slightly as if he was struggling to understand what I said, “Yes, of course… I thought you knew him.”
“No, I’ve never met him. We were supposed to meet here for breakfast.”
“Oh. I see,” he paused. “Well then, let me introduce you to Mr. Jolie.”
“My camel is Mr. Jolie?!” It took a while to sink in.
Mr. Jolie plodded over to the stable to eat his breakfast of high-protein alfalfa grass and carrots with his keeper. I went and joined the caravan sojourners for a traditional Bedouin breakfast of assorted fruits, pastries, juices, meat, and Arabian coffee.
Just as the dishes were being cleared and the last cup of coffee was drunk, the Land Rover pulled up to transport me back to Dubai. I was back in my hotel room before noon.
It was one of the most unusual breakfast meetings I’ve ever had.
Lovely! Your piece brought back some wonderful adventures and fun of my own! Having lived in the ME for a very long time, we called the lizards dubs, which is what the locals called them. And yes, they can be large and very intimidating! I remember once getting a call from a neighbor who came home from the commissary to find a giant dub taking shelter from the heat in her entry way. I hustled over to "help", having encountered several out on the golf course before. But this one was having none of it. He growled and slashed his tail at us for several minutes before actual qualified help arrived.
Oh the adventures you have had❣️