Hubs Gets Bit By A Lion
Expect the Unexpected
For the sixth time since our plane departed from South Africa, I checked the screen for our current flight status. We still had 12 hours and 11 minutes remaining in our sixteen-hour flight from Johannesburg to Atlanta. Usually, long flights didn’t bother me because I slept all the way from take-off to touchdown.
This flight was different.
Not only was it recognized as one of the longest non-stop flights in the world, but Hubs and I were also surrounded by a group of Good Ol’ Boys from Waco, Texas, returning home after an African safari adventure. Their loud, braggadocious banter and grandiose tall tales made snoozing impossible.
As fellow Texans, Hubs and I were proxy members of their group, so by rights, I was welcome to join their conversation.
I knew the Good Ol’ Boys from Waco would be all ears when I told them a LION BIT HUBS while we were on a safari.
Sure enough, their leader, Mr. Camouflage, was quick to round up the Good Ol’ Boys and start pumping Hubs for information about the LION ATTACK.
Hubs, ever the storyteller, shared his tale of our fateful safari through Kruger National Park in South Africa. He expertly wove the narrative until the tension rose to a fevered crescendo - then he left the Good Ol’ Boys hanging with the humiliating news that he got Skunked by the Lions! No lions sighted, not even a trace of cat scat.
Texans DO NOT get skunked. There’s GLORY in getting BIT BY A LION, but getting SKUNKED is an unthinkable assault on a Texan’s ego.
The morale plummeted temporarily, but Mr. Camo was quick to realize there had to be more to the story. “So, how did you get bit by a lion?”
Hubs leaned forward and lowered his voice, giving the impression he was disclosing inside information with fellow Texans: “There is a 1,500-acre Lion & Safari Park Northwest of Johannesburg that is home to 80 lions, including white lions. They have so many lions, it’s unbelievable!” Hubs stressed “unbelievable” to drive his point home.
“When we got to the Safari Park, we were immediately drawn to the lion cub area.”
“We drove around the park and saw several lions…”
“When that lion ROARED, the earth SHOOK!” Hubs made a point of looking each of the Good Ol’ Boys square in the eye to emphasize his point, “A lion’s ROAR can be heard up to five miles away! Five miles! I’m tellin’ you it was LOUD! And, as soon as he roared, a younger lion jumped up and started walking around the perimeter of the area, like he was on guard duty, making sure everything was okay. That older lion was definitely in charge!”
The Waco Boys all nodded in agreement.
Mr. Camo noted, “Yup, we heard a lion roar one night on our safari. It was loud, all right! Sure didn’t want to run into that Big Cat in the dark without my gun!”
Another Good Ol’ Boy questioned, “Did the one on guard duty bite y’all?”
“No, he just checked all around the fenceline.” Hubs continued, “We watched him for a while then went back to the main area.”
Mr. Camouflage roared in disbelief, “Ya’ll got BIT in the PETTING ZOO??” He turned to the Good Ol’ Boys of Waco and blurted, “Can ya’ll believe that? He got bit in the PETTING ZOO?!” The Good Ol’ Boys were laughing up a storm, and when Camo asked Hubs to show the Boys his lion bite, they knew they’d been buffaloed.
Sometimes, I can’t stop myself from having a bit of fun. Trans-Atlantic flights can be long and boring, and it’s not every day I get the opportunity to pull the wool over the eyes of a group of Texas Good Ol’ Boys. Better yet, it’s not every day Hubs gets bit by a lion!
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Haha, that's hilarious, Lois. That must have been such an interesting adventure though seeing the lions up close like that, especially the cubs. Pretty incredible to think that the cub that bit your husband would grow to the size of one of those adult lions. Thank you for sharing.
Striking photos! Were the lions wild and free to hunt for their own food?