Improvising at The Matterhorn

Expect the Unexpected

Yes, this is a bona fide picture of the Matterhorn. The real deal.

Check out the gal with the big dog.

She is none other than a younger moi. For reasons known only to the Lord Almighty, I decided to spend a few months in Switzerland topping off the French I learned in high school. I simply ignored the fact that nothing in my life required me to speak French. Furthermore, I hadn’t uttered a single word of the language in over thirty years. Truth be known - I wanted a good excuse to take a middle-aged break, and a language immersion program in Montreux, Switzerland captured my sense of adventure.

Since Switzerland and the Matterhorn are almost inseparably linked, I was easily inspired to check out the famous mountain that towers high above the alpine village of Zermatt. This idyllic village is situated near the Swiss/Italian border, in an area amidst some of the highest peaks in the Alps.

Thinking of taking a car or RV for a quick spin up to Zermatt to see the Matterhorn? Well think again. All motor vehicles are prohibited beyond the base village of Visp. From there, visitors are transported up the steep grade to Zermatt by train. Following suit, I parked my rental car at Visp, and was fortunate enough get a ticket on the last afternoon train to Zermatt.

Was it serendipity, or was just one of the numerous experiences I had with perfect Swiss timing? Precisely as the sun set behind the western mountains, my train groaned and creaked to a final stop at the Zermatt Railway Station . Nightfall had descended upon the world-renowned alpine village.

Suitcase in tow, I walked from the railway station, in search of my hotel. Rather, more accurately, I should say, I hiked uphill from the railway station in search of my hotel.

Having already spent several weeks in Switzerland, I had long-since concluded there are only two directions in the country - up and down. Everything upon everything was either a climb up, or a climb down. What goes up has to come down. Well, in Switzerland, what goes down also has to come up. Day in day out, up down, down up, down up, up down. I had begun to feel like a regular Swiss mountain goat. I had even begun to emulate the nimble-footed Swiss locals, trotting up and down the mountainsides.

Zermatt. Switzerland - The railway from Visp is located toward the lower right, my hotel was located a bit of a hike, up the hill located the middle of the photo.

Having already spent several weeks in Switzerland, I had long-since concluded there are only two directions in the country - up and down.

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The next morning, eager to start my new Swiss-mountain-goat adventure, I jumped in the shower and luxuriated in the prolonged access to hot water that the hotel stay afforded me. (Note: I had been staying with a Swiss host family while I participated in the French immersion program . The family was conservative with water, and I followed suit by having very short showers while I lived with them.)

I lathered up my hair with an overly generous dollop of shampoo. I had lots of bubbles and suds to massage through my thick, natural curls. Tons of bubbles and suds. Like a spoiled, over-indulged child I was making up for lost time. Ah! It felt so good to get my hair squeaky clean. Several long, warm, unrestricted rinses later and my hair was 100% de-sudsified. I didn’t care one iota that my mane had shriveled up and plastered to my head like a helmet of tangled steel wool. I did mention I have thick, natural curly hair, didn’t I? Very thick, very natural curly hair…

No problem. This wasn’t my first rodeo. Next, I simply had to apply two or three overly generous shots of hair conditioner, and the tangled steel wool helmet would magically transform into soft flowing curls.

All I had to do was find my conditioner. Oh no! No conditioner.

Well, surely the hotel provided conditioner. Oh no! No conditioner.

No problem. I decided to improvise.

I put… hand and body lotion in my hair.

If I thought my hair was shriveled up and plastered to my head like a helmet of tangled steel wool before I dumped lotion in it - I was mortified to discover that I had just transformed it into something that resembled a tightly-wadded, rusted scouring-pad clumped on the top of my head with wiry ends sticking out in a tangled unruly mess.

Note to self: Hand and body lotion DOES NOT work as hair conditioner.

No problem. I decided to improvise.

I flipped my head upside down and tied the tightly-wadded clump and the tangled mess all up in a haphazard pony tail and exclaimed in my most fluent French, “Voila!” (Proving forevermore that I learned at least one French word during my immersion experience).

Next, I put on a pair of, outlandish, allegedly very stylish - as in straight off the Italian runway in Milan, designer jeans. Originally I was looking forward to enjoying an uber-stylish day traipsing around the Swiss Alps. However, with my change of coif, I now looked more like a clown than a style icon.

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It was about 65 F. and clear blue skies when I trudged still further uphill to the Gornergrat Railway Station, where I needed to catch yet another train to the 10,135 foot level for an unobstructed view of the Matterhorn. The Gornergrat Railway, built in 1898, weaves back and forth along the steep slopes and hillsides that link Zermatt Village to the Gornergrat Station Platform.

Gornergrat Station Platform ¹

The higher the elevation, the lower the temperature dropped and the faster the wind howled.

After 33 minutes of laborious click-clacking and chugging straight uphill the ancient train rattled to a stop at Gornergrat Station Platform. An announcement was made that the next train back to Zermatt would depart in 30 minutes.

The bitter-cold wind whipped across the railway platform. A circular thermometer hanging on the Gornergrat Station Platform ticket booth indicated the temperature was 10F, -12 C! Lord only knows what the actual temperature was when the windchill was factored into consideration. Bone-chilling, back-biting cold. Flesh freezing, ice cold.

My “Swiss mountain goat adventure” was not going according to script. Not at all!

The thermometer took another nosedive and I still had to wait 29 minutes for the train. Worse yet,² there was no “station” at Gornergrat Station Platform. It was a platform and only a platform! Nothing more, nothing less. An open platform, it offered no protection at all from the slicing-cold wind. The solo ticket booth was the size of an old-fashioned telephone booth.

No problem. I decided to improvise.

Stealing a lesson from the playbook of a buffalo I once saw standing on the prairie in the middle of a sub-zero Canadian winter blizzard, I hunkered my head down, turned my back to the wind, and methodically braced my feet against the hurricane force. Once stabilized, I rifled through my small day-pack searching for anything to help me survive the next 28 minutes. Desperate people resort to desperate measures, I didn’t care what I found because I had become quite skilled at the art of improvising.

Voila again! The coveted prize I was looking for! A pair of super-cozy, fuzzy-wuzzy white sleep socks. Exactly what I needed, given I simply had sandals on my feet. Yup! Doesn’t every uber-stylish, nimble-footed Swiss gal wear cutesy white sandals to trot around the Alps like a mountain goat? Do recall, it was early summer down at the bottom of the mountain. Not to mention, my sandals looked so nice with my capri-length Italian jeans. Oh yes, it is important to note my uber-stylish Italian jeans were capri length, leaving my lower-legs exposed to the icy windblast. My legs and feet had grown numb and frostbite threatened.

I wasted no time getting those blessed fuzzy-wuzzy white sleep socks on my feet and over my legs. The relief was almost instantaneous. Thank goodness!

I was already having the worst bad hair day of my whole life. So, why not make it the worst dressed day of my whole life as well? A double-header, per se. A humorous idea popped into my head - perhaps someone could even take my picture and put it in a magazine under the caption “Worst dressed women at the Matterhorn”. Lois TB takes the prize! Everything about this outfit is wrong! Look at that hair! What was she thinking?

Then I saw the Saint Bernards, posing for photo-ops! And behind them stood the beautiful, stunning, mesmerizing, spectacular Matterhorn Mountain. There was not a single wisp of cloud in front it. I grew up around the Canadian Rockies, so I am accustomed to majestic peaks. I have spent a lot of time in the mountains. However, I have never been captivated by a mountain the way I was by the Matterhorn.

I knew I absolutely HAD to have my picture taken with the Saint Bernards. I absolutely HAD to have my picture taken in front of the Matterhorn.

Take my picture, on the worst bad hair, worst dressed day of my life?

Sure, why not?

The photographer and I actually got into a verbal wrestling match regarding my photo-op. He insisted that I stand between the two dogs and look at the camera.

Surely he had to be joking! There was no way, absolutely no way, I was going to stand up, straight and tall for the photo to reveal my funky Italian capri length jeans, my fuzzy-wuzzy sleep socks, my cutesy white sandals, and my wadded scouring-pad haphazard wiry funky pony tail. Really, did the guy think I was out of my ever-lovin’ mind? What gave him the idea that I would want a permanent record of me looking like THAT???

So, much to his chagrin, I crouched down between the Saint Bernards, to conceal my peculiar attire.

At the very moment I crouched down, Hector, the Saint Bernard, turned his head and looked at me. Hector and I “chatted” a bit and then he gave me a huge Saint Bernard doggy kiss. It was a very precious, impromptu moment. The photographer snapped the picture when Hector and I were sharing our appreciation for one another.

So my secret is out! Worst dressed day - yes. Bad hair day - yes. (On the bright side - even the ferocious wind could not move a single strand of my “bad hair day hair”.) Great memory day - yes!

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Looking at the Theme:

No problem. I decided to improvise.

In retrospect, it is often the problems in life that have ultimately given me the most memorable experiences. Obviously, some of the problems that we face are a lot bigger than just a bad hair day or something as frivolous as wearing fuzzy sleep socks with sandals. Nonetheless, the lesson is relatively the same for the smaller problems in life as it is for the larger, more challenging, serious problems.

I believe we are trained by the smaller problems in life. As we learn how to handle small problems in an effective manner, we become more equipped to handle larger problems effectively.

What would the problems of tomorrow, next week, next month look like if we take the perspective, “No problem. I will improvise.”

Oftentimes the answer on how to improvise is not always present. And sometimes we make some really foolish decisions for ourselves - just like I did when I dumped a load of hand and body lotion in my hair!

However, what do you think the chances are that I have EVER put hand and body lotion in my hair again?

Furthermore, after reading my experience how inclined are YOU to use hand and body lotion as a substitute for hair conditioner?

This leads me to a very important point about human nature. Some things we learn from making our own mistakes and some things we learn from hearing about the mistakes others have made. Either way, mistakes are actually learning opportunities.

The key is to learn from mistakes.

For the sake of clarity, I repeat: Sometimes we make some really foolish decisions for ourselves. However, more often than not, our foolish decisions, and the negative consequences that inevitably result from them, can be avoided if we would just ask others for help.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Pr 15:22)

In today’s day and age, it is more important than ever to have a trusted “inner circle” of advisers we can count on to help us navigate through the more difficult problems and decisions. Just coming up with an inner circle of trusted advisers can be a formidable task.

Personally, I have found it beneficial to commit this to prayer. Prayer and patience led exactly the right people into my inner circle who weren’t on my radar originally.

If any of you lacks Wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (Ja 1:5)

That scripture is worth reading and remembering. There are times when each of us come up against problems we simply do not know how to handle. But James 1:5 tells us if we pray and ask God for wisdom, He will generously give it to us without finding fault. That’s good information to have.

Just think… maybe if I had prayed and asked about the wisdom of dumping a load of hand and body lotion in my hair, I could have spared myself a very, very bad hair day. No doubt it might have occurred to me that it wasn’t the best thing to do.

1. This is a recent photo of Gornergrat Station Platform. The railway is 9.4 kms and it climbs 1484 meters. It is the oldest and largest open air cog-wheel railway in Europe.

2. Since the year of my visit the Kulmhotel Gornergrat has been built. It is the building seen in the photo of Gornergrat Station Platform. This hotel is the highest hotel in the Swiss Alps.