Platform Shoes & Much Ado About Something
Expect the Unexpected
It was the summer of 1972, and just like many young people our age, my friend Lorraine and I headed across the Atlantic with a couple of hundred dollars, our passports, and a few clothing items tucked in our backpacks. We planned to go where the wind and the rails took us.
The BritRail train pulled into the Stratford-upon-Avon Station later than expected on the afternoon of Tuesday, August 15th, putting us in a tight time crunch. We had less than two hours to check into the local Youth Hostel (assuming they had room for us), change our clothes, leave for the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon, and be there before the curtain rose at 7:30 for the evening performance.
It took several inquiries to find out the International Youth Hostel was located in an old estate named Hemingford House, located two miles east of town on Wellesbourne Road. We revved our feet up into high gear and raced to the youth hostel.
Had we arrived at Hemingford one minute later, we would not have had a place to stay that night. As it was, we got the last two bunks before the “No Vacancy” sign was posted on the door. The manager urged us to hurry if we planned to attend the evening theatre1 performance, as we had no time to spare.
As lifelong fashionistas, we had scoped out the latest fashions in London’s posh shopping areas before we began touring the English countryside. Platform shoes and vibrant-colored two-piece outfits were hot items in the summer of ‘72 and the perfect ensemble for well-dressed young women to wear to the Royal Shakespeare Theatre.
Looking like we had just stepped off the fashion runways of London’s trendy Carnaby Street, we had to make haste to cover the distance back to Stratford-upon-Avon and find the Theatre before curtain time. In reality, my fashion statement created two time-limiting obstacles - one on my left foot, the other on my right foot.
I had my share of talents, but power-walking in five-inch platform shoes was NOT among them. In fact, I had NEVER worn five-inch heels before that evening. It felt like I had a pair of MINI-STILTS strapped to my feet, and my challenge was to keep from toppling over and falling flat on my nose!
It was the epitome of fashionista dedication to perform such a challenging balancing act shod in Carnaby Street’s Latest Chic Lifts while charging full-bore for two miles along Wellesbourne Road to Stratford, then pressing through to the Royal Shakespeare Theatre.
Never, ever underestimate what lengths a Genuine Fashionista will go to to enjoy her edge on the trends! (Either that or never underestimate the nutty things a 17-year-old will do!)
With only minutes to spare, we arrived at the Shakespeare Theatre and joined the line to buy tickets. We soon discovered the play Anthony and Cleopatra was performing to a sell-out crowd of 1,400 patrons.2 No seats were available that evening, and none were available in the foreseeable future. However, two standing spaces were open against the back wall on the lower floor. Having limited options, we took the standing spaces and claimed our few feet of wall space just as the lights dimmed and the curtains rose.
The stage is set. The period is 30 B.C. Two Roman Soldiers, Philo and Demetrius, are having a conversation about their General, Mark Anthony’s infatuation with Cleopatra:
PHILO
Nay, but this dotage of our general's
O'erflows the measure. Those his goodly eyes,
That o'er the files and musters of the war
Have glowed like plated Mars, now bend, now turn
The office and devotion of their view
Upon a tawny front. His captain's heart,
Which in the scuffles of great fights hath burst
The buckles on his breast, reneges all temper
And is become the bellows and the fan
To cool a gypsy's lust.Lorraine and I respectfully stood in our assigned spaces, eyes transfixed on the stage. I put my best “I’m really enjoying this” expression on my face— it was a total façade. Everyone around me looked so interested and enthralled in the play. I did not have a clue what was going on. Macbeth or Hamlet, I had studied, but I was in the dark with Anthony and Cleopatra.
Two minutes passed, maybe three.
How long does this last? What was I thinking? I’ve never been a Shakespeare fan. So why am I doing this? My feet are killing me… these shoes aren’t comfortable for standing in. Maybe if I listen closely, I’ll understand what the play is about.
Concentrate. Which one is Mark Anthony? Is he the guy with the medal around his neck or the sword on his belt? Maybe intermission will be after this scene.
How am I going to walk back to the hostel wearing these shoes? I could take them off and walk barefoot. The play! Focus girl, focus!
What if they don’t have an intermission? Don’t think about that. Pay Attention!
Oh, that guy must be Mark Anthony because he’s got his arm around Cleopatra. I wonder if Cleopatra REALLY wore her hair like that. Is that a wig or her real hair? Maybe it is her real hair…
Then it happened. The curtain fell. The lights came on. Intermission! Finally!
From our vantage point at the back of the theatre, Lorraine and I were among the first to dash to the exit of the performance hall and make a bee-line straight for the outdoor exit to catch a breath of fresh air. We found some seats on the patio near the main entrance where we could sit and take the relentless pressure off our protesting feet. Without saying a word, Lorraine spoke volumes with a HUGE yawn. She was not faring this cultural escapade any better than I was. Every fiber of her being screamed, “B-o-r-i-n-g!”
We decided to call it an evening and head back to Hemingford House at a leisurely pace - meaning we hobbled slowly back to the hostel, ever-mindful of our swollen, aching feet.
No trip to Stratford-upon-Avon would be complete without a visit to Shakespeare’s birthplace and childhood home on Henley Street. Will was born on April 23, 1564. His father, John Shakespeare, was an alderman and glove maker, originally from Snitterfield. His mother, Mary Arden, was from an affluent family of landowners near Stratford-upon-Avon. (For information about his family and childhood in Stratford-upon-Avon, click here.)
Apparently, young Will was attracted to older women. In November 1582, when he was 18, he married 26-year-old Anne Hathaway. Imagine how surprised the good citizens of Stratford-upon-Avon were when little Susanna was born just six months later, in May 1583. Anne later gave birth to twins Hamnet and Judith in February 1585.
Shortly after the twins were born, Will went AWOL, leaving Anne to fend for herself and the children. They had no contact or information from him until he simply decided to return home seven years later. Archives reveal he spent the “lost years” of his life in London carousing, acting in small plays and mixing with playwrights. In modern terms, William Shakespeare was a Deadbeat Dad!
Thereafter, the Bard divided his time between acting and writing plays in London and living in Stratford at New Place, the estate he bought for his family in 1597.
The typical scenario depicts Shakespeare writing into the wee hours of the morning under the light of a flickering candle. This was the figment of someone’s imagination. First, candles were astronomically expensive, so writers took advantage of the daylight hours. They gathered at the local pubs in the evenings to sip ale and discuss their work. Second, in the 16th century, playwrights often gathered in small teams to write plays under the direction of a lead writer who combined the pieces and produced the final product. Shakespeare was the lead writer of his plays, but he was NOT ALWAYS the sole writer.
What was so special about Will? Since other writers contributed to his work, why is there so much hoopla about him? By 21st-century standards, his writing appears archaic, outdated, and almost impossible to understand without study aids. Regardless, the guy is STILL the king of modern English. Yet, millions of people (dare I say billions of people over the years?) don’t know what the heck his characters are talking about! (78% of people surveyed in the UK admit they struggle to understand Shakespeare.)
Here’s the scoop on our guy William “The Bard” Shakespeare:
The era of Middle English began to phase out in the 14th century. It was time to dump the old, worn-out language and develop something with a modern flare. Early Modern English consisted of a mere 100 words before Will put his quill to paper and created 3000 new words and 100 new phrases to give life to the new language. (That is a LOT of new words. 600 words are all that is needed for a simple understanding of a language.)
If Shakespeare was such a WizKid with Early Modern English, WHY did he write 37 plays, 149 sonnets, and two long narrative poems in Archaic Middle English, a language that was clearly doomed to obsolescence?
Did the man get his jollies knowing how much frustration and stress his use of stoneage language would inflict on multiple generations of future students?
Since Shakespeare invented Modern English, does this mean WE speak Shakespearean English?
Yes! Believe it or not, the English WE SPEAK was invented/created by William Shakespeare! To view the AMAZING list of modern words that William Shakespeare contributed to the English language, click here.
(Hold on… if you didn’t click and take a look at the words that Will invented, here’s another chance to do it. It’s mind-boggling! click here )
“There is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open." No, this isn’t one of Shakespeare’s quotes; it is from the Bible. Almost 400 years passed before evidence began to surface that challenged Shakespeare’s exemplary reputation as a wealthy, aristocratic 16th-century playwright and businessman.
In 2001, Francis Thackeray, an anthropologist from Transvaal Museum, Pretoria, 3 led a team of forensic scientists to conduct research on 24 samples of residue retrieved from eight pipes found on Shakespeare’s Stratford-upon-Avon property, the New Place. Thackeray’s actions were prompted by references in Shakespeare’s Sonnets 76 and 27 that he believed referred to the use of cannabis and hallucinogens.
Using state-of-the-art “gas chromatography-mass spectrometry” to analyze the 400-year-old residue samples, Thackeray’s team identified tobacco, cannabis, Erythroxylum (Peruvian cocaine/coca leaves), and hallucinogenic myristic acid in the pipes. Although there is no way to prove the pipes belonged to Shakespeare, the circumstantial evidence linking him to them is incriminating.
It appears that the Bard enjoyed packing his pipe with more KICK than could be delivered by fine-quality tobacco from Jamestown, Virginia.
The plot thickens, and the cast of characters expands…
When Sir Francis Drake, the famous explorer, returned to England on September 26, 1580, after circumnavigating the globe, his cargo included 16th-century Peruvian cocaine made from Erythroxylum coca leaves. Only the very affluent and privileged of English society could afford this luxury. Two of the pipes retrieved from Shakespeare’s property had traces of Drake’s “Peruvian cocaine” made from Erythroxylum coca leaves. Hmmm….what a coincidence.
Sir Francis Drake was the first BIG BOSS to run COKE from Peru to the U.K. Did Drake keep the Great Bard, William Shakespeare, supplied with COKE? Frank and Willy both hobnobbed in the same upper echelon of London society, so it is even possible they occasionally smoked a bowl or two together.4
Dr. Thayer’s forensic scientists certainly did not expect to discover as much evidence as they did. In 2014, the Transvaal Museum study was finalized, their report published, and the results archived. Thackeray also surmised in an “unofficial document” that Shakespeare preferred to smoke weed.
But wait…another skeleton was discovered in Shakespeare’s closet in 2016!
William Shakespeare died on his 52nd birthday, April 23, 1616. The cause of his death has never been confirmed. However, Vicar John Ward of the Holy Trinity Church wrote this entry in his diary: “Shakespeare, Drayton, and Ben Jonson had a merry meeting and, it seems, drank too hard; for Shakespeare died of a fever there contracted.”
Did the three men drink too overdo it with the booze, as the vicar implied? Or were they having a “farewell to Will ale-fest” in the local pub? The fact that Shakespeare dictated his will on March 25, 1616, indicated he probably knew he was on borrowed time, as it was customary to prepare a will upon the deathbed.
Another custom of the era was for each church to have a cemetery for its parishioners. Accordingly, William Shakespeare was buried in the Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon. His grave marker, however, was unlike any other as it read:
Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare,
To dig the dust enclosed here.
Blessed be the man that spares these stones,
AND CURSED BE HE THAT MOVES MY BONES.
Shakespeare made a specific point of CURSING anyone who moved his bones!
The Great Bard wasn’t totally out of his skull for leaving such a dire message on his gravesite. Grave robbers were fairly common during the 17th century, and the bones of the famous playwright William Shakespeare could be sold for a hefty sum of money on the black market. If robbers hadn’t already cleaned out his grave, the Holy Trinity Church eventually would have exhumed Will’s bones and moved them to the Charnel House - a large communal vault for the storage of exhumed skeletal remains. The church would then have access to his gravesite for a new burial.
Regardless of what Will’s concern was, his message was loud and clear… DO NOT MESS WITH MY BONES! His threat worked. No one dared to move his grave. It is located EXACTLY where it was the day he was buried, with its guardian warning sign keeping vigil.
In 2016, on the 400th Anniversary of Shakespeare’s death, curiosity and modern technology won over superstition. A team of scientists, led by archeologist Kevin Colls from Staffordshire University, used ground-penetrating radar (GPR) to determine if Shakespeare’s remains were resting in peace and what, if anything, was buried with him. The results of the ground radar scan were surprising.
Shakespeare’s SKULL WAS MISSING! Someone stole the Bard’s HEAD!
At first, the great playwright’s skull seemed to have vanished into thin air! However, further investigation unearthed an article published in Argosy Magazine in 1879 that had previously been written off as an embellished rumor. The article claimed that in 1794, a doctor named Frank Chambers hired grave robbers to steal William Shakespeare’s skull. Specific details were provided of how the thieves accomplished the robbery and meticulously restored the grave to its original condition to avoid detection. Chambers allegedly was paid 300 guineas for the skull by an undisclosed buyer. ($141,000 US, £108,000 present value)
When the scientists compared the results of the GPR scan to specific information in the Argosy Magazine article, they were amazed to discover the 1879 article was accurate. The evidence pointed to Frank Chambers as the probable instigator of the skull theft. (Click here to read the original 1879 Argosy Magazine Article)
All this sleuthing around Shakespeare’s bones has only added more mystery to the situation because No One Knows Where The Skull Is! Shakespeare’s head is lost!
After conducting the scan, Kevin Colls’ team of archaeologists left Shakespeare’s grave undisturbed. Although scientists have speculated about conducting additional scans on the gravesite, no specific plans have been made to date. The Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon has requested that the deceased be left to rest in peace. The whereabouts of Shakespeare’s skull is likely to forever remain a mystery.
Conclusion - August 1972
After spending a few days in Stratford-upon-Avon, Lorraine and I were ready to board the BritRail train and head north toward Scotland. It was three decades before Shakespeare’s more colorful past would come to light. From our youthful perspective, he appeared to be an archaic playwright and poet, a fuddy-duddy who gained fame and prominence for reasons beyond our understanding. To quote Shakespeare, we thought all the commotion and hoopla about him was “much ado about nothing.”
Little did we know that he:
Had a shotgun marriage with Anne Hathaway, a woman eight years his senior.
Was a deadbeat Dad for seven years.
Invented modern English, and he didn’t need to write in dinosaur English.
Appeared to have smoked weed, coke, and hallucinogens.
Bought his mood-altering substances from the world explorer Sir Francis Drake.
Cursed anyone who messed with his skeletal bones.
Lost his head.
These information points would certainly have tweaked our curiosity about the man and prompted us to see him from a more genuine, realistic light. The version of Shakespeare we learned about in high school was so scrubbed and above reproach that he bored us to tears. The man who has surfaced since 2016, when modern forensics started examining him, felt more human and approachable. Yes, he was wealthy and famous, but he also messed up, and that made him REAL and INTERESTING.
As our train pulled away from the Stratford station, I couldn’t fathom returning to Shakespeare’s hometown. However, never say never. I have visited Stratford-upon-Avon again. Shakespeare’s contributions to our modern English language and culture were, in fact, “much ado about something!”
I have used the UK spelling for “theatre” throughout this article for continuity.
Seating capacity for the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in 1972 was 1,400, and provisions were made for standing room during sell-out performances. The Theatre has been remodeled, and the maximum seating capacity in 2024 is 1,018 with no standing provisions. All photos and information from the actual performance of “Anthony & Cleopatra” on August 15, 1972, were obtained from the Shakespeare Theatre archives.
The former Transvaal Museum is now The Ditsong National Museum of Natural History, Pretoria, South Africa.
Erythroxylum had the composition of cocaine when it was smoked.
A great yarn, Lois! I like how you weaved the story of your teenage visit in platform heels with all these interesting facts about William Shakespeare. I, too, am amazed at his invention of so many words. The fact that they "stuck" and have remained with us to this day is astounding.
Thanks, Will - I use many of those words myself. Where would I be without them?